Today I had several clear things on my agenda. I was going to have breakfast, then go to yoga, then go grocery shopping, get dinner in the crock pot, go to lunch, walk the dogs, then go to the coffee shop and work on the GOTR event, then Callie was meeting me at the coffee shop for catch up time, then I would go home and finish making dinner. Pretty simple, right. I would go from one event to the next. The problem is all I can focus on is the event itself, and everything inbetween each event is inconvenient but necessary.
For example. After the grocery store I still had to drive home, get the groceries out of the car, let the dogs out, unpack the groceries, and print out the dinner recipe all before I could begin getting anything in the crock pot. I was so focused on getting to the crock pot that just getting groceries out of the car and put away was a burden. I thought it was taking an eternity to get from the grocery store (point A) to the crock pot (point B), when in reality it was maybe 10 minutes. By the time I was actually cooking, I could hardly remember the gray matter. All I cared about was that I was finally doing the next task.
That is my mind. That is the mind of someone who doesn't appreciate the current state. Just driving home can be peaceful and is purposeful. But no, I just want to get to the crock pot!
Yesterday Dad and I had our first ride with a group since last fall. I have had my bike off the trainer only a handful of times this year and this was Dad's first outing. It was a cloudy day, but we didn't care. We were outside and in the company of other riders. There was so much chatter about what everyone had been doing in the offseason, the upcoming season, the Triple Bypass. It was good to see familiar faces. I looked around and saw several new women. One by one I started sizing them up. Yep, I can pick off the leggy blonde riding with her husband. He is obviously the strong one. Oh heck yes I can whip the brunette with long braided pigtails. She has more clothes on than I do and a visor on her helmet...wuss. But wait, the chic with the white jersey talking confidently to the compact little dude, not so sure about her. Sure enough, she passed me more than once. It was a great ride, and Dad and I stayed together for most of it. I could feel the extra poundage holding me back a bit, especially when a group of ten would whip by and I just couldn't hold on. No worries...leggy blonde and brunette pigtails stayed long behind me. White jersey chic however...I have a ways to go this season before I will be able to keep up with her or the big boys. That will be a fun carrot to chase!
Every week I tell myself, maybe next week I will take it easy. And at the end of every week I say, phew, made it thru that, next week is going to be killer! Well yesterday I told myself I was going to force and allow myself to take the week off. There is a difference between force and allow, and I have to do both. The most important one is to allow. No guilt, no failure. If I had woken up this morning and decided I didn't feel like working out today, or that I was going to take it easy today, I would have felt guilty and like a failure all day. But instead I woke up and felt free. Not relief, because I would gladly have run and biked as usual if I had told myself to. But I now had an extra two hours on my hands today. Actually more like three hours since I can count on an extra hour of getting ready for two hours of running and biking. I was able to go to yoga and be there for the entire hour without thinking about the upcoming bike and run that I HAD to do. I have no idea what this week holds for workouts...wait a minute, yes I do...yoga, pilates, and perhaps a hike with DRMR. There is a very good chance however, that I will not put on swimming goggles, tighten down my helmet or lace up my running shoes!
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